All of last month we have focused on TRUE CHANGE - that comes from the inside out. That unless we experience freedom in our spiritual life, addressing the other areas will just act as a band-aid. Jesus is the only one who brings true, lasting change. We focused on breathing life into our spirit - which is where the foundation of our wellness lies.
We dove in deep with:
How to experience true, lasting change
delving into attachment styles so that we can experience true connection with others
naming the BIG SIX and what they can do for us
NOW how we can return to joy when we are stuck in one of the BIG SIX
Anyone experience the BIG SIX emotions this week - maybe even this morning?
The Big Six are:
Sadness - "I lost some of my life."
Anger - "I need to protect myself and make something stop."
Fear - "I want to get away."
Disgust - "This is not life-giving."
Shame - "I'm not bringing you joy. You are not glad to be with me."
Hopeless Despair - "I lack the resources I need for this."
God can use these for His purposes!
Sadness - WHY? So we can develop compassion - "Jesus wept."
Anger - dangerous, but it has the power to move you into ACTION or to intervene
Fear - can save your life or another's
Disgust - move us to disciple those who are immature (teach my boys to not be so gross!)
Shame - healthy shame messages to other followers of Jesus - that is not how we act (bathed in love and compassion)
Hopeless Despair - brings us to dependence on God "joy comes in the morning"
Have you ever been STUCK in one of those Big Six? What was that like? I recently read this, "You can't be spiritually mature unless you are emotionally mature." I believe that is true. The Bible says "They will know us by our love”. We can't be loving God or others when we get STUCK in one of these BIG SIX emotions.
Let's talk about it this way:
The right side of the brain (also known as the "feeling" brain) works faster than the left side of the brain (also known as the "thinking brain"). So, you experience emotions BEFORE you are thinking it through. If you remember back in February of this year, we did a Free Friday about protecting our children's brains and pornography - and we talked a bit about this.
The amygdala of our brain is responsible for deciding if we are in fight, flight or freeze mode. We physically cannot operate out of love when we are operating out of the amygdala. Literally our relational circuits have been turned OFF. If our relational circuits are off, the best way to get them back on and get the two "brains" back in sync is through APPRECIATION or GRATITUDE.
Think about the 2nd greatest commandment God ever gave –“Love our neighbor as yourself." We are not able to love other people when we are operating out of the big SIX - our relational circuits in our brain have shut off.
So how do we get unstuck? Return to JOY?
First remember, "The thing is not the thing." What you are FEELING is not what is happening. We, as Christians, are called to regulate these emotions by the power of the Holy Spirit. That's God Spirit that lives within every person who has given their lives to Jesus. Recognize we are experiencing a big emotion - call it out! Let's not deny the existence of the emotions. Get perspective. Be open to the possibility that we can be out of it. Invite God into the situation. He exists and He cares - can be simply "God, would you help me?"Give appreciation or gratitude. Remember a story of how you were able to recover from a negative emotion. It gives us hope. Name the emotion and share it with someone else.
When you tell YOUR story to others at least three times, it synchronizes the left & right brain!
I'm going to share my story of FEAR. It's a simple one, but it shows you these steps and how I returned to joy.
It was my 13th birthday party and I was having a sleepover. We had about 13 girls there. We were eating pizza and watching movies and my mom had a plan with my neighbors that as soon as the intense part of the movie started the neighbors would turn off our breakers, and stand in our windows with sheets over them! I was SO scared! I immediately grabbed the hands of the 2 girls beside me and said, “Let’s pray!” I wanted to talk to God and ask him to protect us. As soon as we found out it wasn’t real I was able to return to my joy. This simple example is something I remember when I start to feel one of the Big Six.
Mature person can return to normal flow in 90 seconds! They have regulated the "sadness" and they've seen the emotion as an opportunity to grow. I invite you this week to think of a time you experienced one of the big SIX and how you returned to joy - share it with someone. Ideally, write it out first so you can stay succinct and not go on and on with your story. Don't make it super intense so that others aren't uncomfortable.
Recap of the steps:
1) Call it out - name the emotion.
2) Invite God into the situation.
3) Give appreciation or gratitude so you can return to joy.
Did you know that I do personal wellness calls? It's true! I do daily 30-minute personalized wellness calls. It's 30 minutes designed to discover where you are and where you want to go in health & wellness. Some women want to talk about how to live with less stress. Others want to get off their meds and get more relief. Some want to learn how to make small shifts and develop new, healthier habits. Whatever your need, I have a time slot for you!
If you would like to chat reach out to the Wellness Advocate who shared this with you. Those who are not already working with another Wellness Advocate – or – our current customers, reach out and let's schedule a personal one on one call today!
Watch the full video here: