What's Your Attachment Style?


We've focused on breathing life into our spirit - where the foundation of our wellness lies. How to experience true, lasting change; a new way to experience Immanuel "God With Us" through interactive journaling, and now delving into attachment styles so that we can experience true connection with others.


Today I want to talk about attachment styles and how you can be free your past, free unhealthy relationships, free to grow, free to connect, free to be secure in your relationships. So, let’s dive right in.


Let's first discover the different attachment styles (they aren’t new, they were discovered in the 1960s-70’s):

Dismissive/Avoidant – attachment is “turned off”, emotionally unavailable, dismissed needs or wants, withdrawn

Distracted/Anxious – attachment is “turned on”, sends mixed signals, based on your own needs – no others, highly needy/dependent, quickly attached

Disorganized – attachment is “turned on & off”, chaotic, disorganized, push & pull, unstable, hostile

Anchor – This is your goal! Anchor attachment, fulfilled, joyful, secure in relationships, inner confidence


Here are some simple tools for creating more security:

Dismissive/Avoidant – You can use Arborvitae and/or Cedarwood. They will bring a sense of community. You can say this affirmation when using the oils "I trust that I am connected with Jesus. I am perfectly safe and filled with gratitude."

Distracted/Anxious – You can use Bergamot and/or Eucalyptus (behind the ears, over the hip bones) and then say "I am safe, secure, and abounding in grace. I am whole in Jesus."

Disorganized Attachment – You can use Balance & Serenity or Peace and say "Jesus brings me peace".


The commonality of all these attachment styles is FEAR. It's a deep longing for intimacy, but you don't know how to make it happen. It's rooted in FEAR. So, what is the antidote? GOD. 1 John 4:8, 18 says, “Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love. There is no fear in love. And what is the opposite of fear? FAITH. Faith is a trust that you are safe and supported, that things will turn out for your good and you have true confidence in God. True faith is centered in Jesus and leads to ACTION.


I encourage you to look over these attachment styles again. It may take talking to some friends who know you well to talk through them and see where you typically lie. Then, figure out one way that you can move from fear back into more secure attachments with others. This takes time. It takes getting "messy" with people and being open to change. You can also go back to the Immanuel Journaling process to help you work through it.


Here is additional video explanation on Attachment Styles: https://youtu.be/23ePqRkOKtg


Watch the full video here:


  • Black Facebook Icon
  • Black Instagram Icon
  • Black YouTube Icon

© 3LifeEssentials LLC.

Branding by Bianca Broos.