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When Life Hurts

January 20, 20205 min read

😢When life hurts and you're feeling out of rhythm....

  • What do you do?

  • How do you make plans?

  • How do you move forward?


🚶🏻‍♀️Listen - I don't claim to be an expert in grief, loss, or pain - but I've experienced my share, even recently - losing my mom unexpectedly - and can share with you FOUR ways to feel clear-headed again, to move forward and even GIVE BACK to others again.


👀 Grief. Sometimes life comes at you pretty hard and things happen that we are not really prepared for. Maybe it’s the loss of a job, loss of a pet, divorce, financial struggle, or even the loss of a friend or loved one. Whatever it is that you’re grieving today, I see you. I see your frustration with feeling stuck because you feel like you’re not supposed to be in this space anymore - like you SHOULD be able to handle it- but you can’t. You’re out of rhythm and you’re not sure what to do about it.


Being the GIVER that you are - not a taker - and being a POSITIVE person, you're not quite sure what to do with this funk space you're in, but there's HOPE and I'm here for you.

So let's move forward TOGETHER:

  1. Give yourself a break. Grieve without feeling guilty about where you are in the process. There are stages of grief - SHOCK/DENIAL, PAIN/GUILT, ANGER/BARGAINING, DEPRESSION/LONELINESS, ACCEPTANCE/HOPE and we ALL have to go through them. However, the difference is the length of time spent in each stage. What that looks like in your daily life is unique to you. So, in a nutshell “Don’t SHOULD on yourself and don’t allow others to do it to you either.” For me, I’m learning that being out of rhythm is part of the process and I’m working on being intentional about the present moment.

What does this look like for me? It means soaking in these newfound moments with my dad, serving him in new ways I’ve never done before, renewing old passions of playing the piano and singing, soaking in the quiet in the remote scenery surrounding me. 

  1. Use your tools!

Wellness Pyramid

There are many different tools I could list here, but I’m just going to focus on a few: Get your body moving - and outdoors in nature, if possible. Your body has natural hormones that are triggered when your body moves AND even more so when you are out in nature. Studies have shown this and we dive deeper into this topic in our community exclusive continuing education.

Also, use supplements and essential oils that will support, not only your mood, but also your body’s physical ability to recover during this process. Yes, your physical body is affected in the grief process too.

What does this look like for me? I’m taking almost daily walks in the quietness of nature. I’m using supplements like Mito2Max - which supports your mitochondria (your body is recovering from trauma and needs this). I’m taking my EO vitamins to help keep my mood more stable and energy up. Since I’ve been out of rhythm, our whole family has needed Greens (superfood powder) to give our bodies some of the fruits/veggies we haven’t been getting enough of. Diffusing essential oil blends like Cheer joyful blend when I need encouragement and mental energy, Console, comforting blend, when I need a warm hug at night, and Myrrh essential oil when I need to feel close to my mom. If you want to incorporate any of these into your wellness, I've created a Grief Bundle here.

  1. Look to the ONE greater than you. You know that feeling you have when there seem to be gray skies all around - like for those who live in the northwest pacific region? It feels like they are all encompassing and are never going to go away. One woman, living in the Pacific NW, was feeling this way and one day, a friend of hers said, “Look up. There’s a little spot of blue, right there.” ‘I lifted my gaze to the dreary sky, and indeed, there was a speck of blue. I felt like I’d been thrown a lifeline. I stared at the tiny break in the clouds and couldn’t tear my eyes free.’ She shared.

Psalm 34:18 says, “The Lord is near to the brokenhearted.” This verse has taken on new life for me over the last month. I’ve always known He is close to me and desires a relationship with me, but it was like He was reminding me that He is even CLOSER now. What a great comfort found only in Jesus when I needed a break in the clouds. You can have this same hope and same comfort through Jesus. He is Immanuel which literally means “God With Us”.

  1. Give back. One of the best ways to get out of a funk space is to get outside of yourself. It doesn’t mean you aren’t still grieving or that you don’t have your own needs, it just means that you can begin to allow beauty to come from the ashes in your own life and help another who you are one step ahead of in the grieving process. It’s not hard to find someone around you who is hurting and we all need someone who can hold our hand and walk beside us. If you need a little inspiration, check out one way our family has done this with our Pay It Forward Bags.


2020. It’s the year of vision. What are the new 2020 glasses you can put on to move forward in the new year? Let me know in the comments below. If you would like additional support in one of the areas, reach out to me and let me know. If you would like prayer, we would consider it an honor. Request prayer here.

So let's move forward TOGETHER.

If you would like to watch the full video click here:

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I help moms of children with special needs, return to joy by simplifying their everyday lives so that they can spend time making memories with their family instead of worrying over all the things.

Amy Miller MS, SLP

I help moms of children with special needs, return to joy by simplifying their everyday lives so that they can spend time making memories with their family instead of worrying over all the things.

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